Skype chats and chat room sessions discussing literature and show tunes with a girl whose maturity and eloquence shone through the shit life slung at her; my confidant and best friend who I could best describe as my platonic better half; and an excellent and popular artist in her own right who is down to earth and doesn’t put down others to lift herself up.
There are others who came in and out of my life as far as the internet goes, but these three young women stick out the most. It really hurts to know that things have changed and ultimately caused a bit of a strain on our own relationships with each other, but I’m scared that they may have forgotten about me or haven’t forgotten the stupid shit I pulled in the past and just don’t acknowledge me. I’ve my own plate filled to the brim with responsibility and other things of life, and maybe that’s the reason that I feel that they sort of faded away. God knows I miss them so, and I know they have their own obligations in life, but it’s hurts knowing that you may never physically see or meet these people in your life. And when you hear that something serious happened to them and they don’t come back for several weeks to a few months or even a year, it just breaks your heart because there isn’t a goddamned thing in the world that you can do but hope and maybe even pray that they are well. And only God knows what the family’s going through, if they even have a fucking family in the first fucking place.
People say that friendships over the internet are a crock of shit, and I just want to tell those people that they are wrong, and that there are people that have such kind souls and warm personalities. Yeah, I know about the Craigslist shit; but if you take the time to have some small talk with people, you probably just befriended an individual who’ll stay by your side for the rest of your lives. These people mean so much to me, and I just hope that they feel the same way too.
And if any of them see this, I want to thank them for everything. I want to thank them for the long conversations that would last for hours on end; even so long as until midnight. I want to thank them for supporting me in my long process of battling my depression, as I know it must have been hell to try to calm me down to the point where I would listen to anyone. I want to thank them for exposing me to new things, and I hope that they’ve discovered a few things from whatever amount of information I’ve given them. I want to thank them for cheering me on in my art, and giving me that initial push and drive to continue working with it. Most of all, I want to thank them for staying by my side through both the good and bad times we’ve shared. No matter what negative situation we’ve faced, we’ve made it and grown even closer from them.
Four years may seem like such a small amount of time for some, but considering that those four years are two years short of being one-third of my life I’d say that those four years have great significance for me.
I hope that you all have people in your life that mean this much to you, and if not, then just know that I’m hear for you.